confirmation

Last night, I ice skated on my b-day with C as I requested.

The dinner afterwards was not the intimate dinner for two. Instead, C surprised me by inviting several of my friends. We had a group dinner for 9.

The unexpected turn of events confirmed that C and I can only move on as friends.

Although I often host group events, and my friends are very dear to me, last night's event was the opposite of what I consider a successful event. When I plan, I try to be mindful of people's budget. Asking someone to spend over $100 for a dinner is not fun in my book. It was especially tough for L and J who didn't drink at all and subsidized everyone else.

Group dinners are reserved for close friends of the same group. Most of my friends at the dinner last night barely know each other, and many of them met for the first time. A sit-down dinner forces people to converse only with those next to them. Our group of nine was more like a business dinner.

Mostly, I was tired and did not expect to socialize with such a large group. I had planned my own group gathering for later this week, after I recovered from my weekend trip in LA.

In the end, last night was a confirmation of what I felt two weeks ago - the connection I once had with C was lost. We had a great time but are not meant to be in a relationship long term.

I am sad but also glad to be moving on.