embrace

Now that I am working lots, my lifestyle is changing.

It's good timing as many of my friends have drifted out of my life as people naturally do.

In some ways, I welcome the solitude. It's not easy as I am such a people person.

Still, now that I am aware of the changing circumstances, I am better equipped to deal with the emotional responses.

It makes me wonder that how much unhappiness can be lifted if people simply accept life's inevitable changes.

can I have it all

Went to dinner as planned. Getting work done much faster, thanks to a lot of organization earlier in the week.

Right as I sat down for dinner, my manager called and offered me more work. Prayers answered or mixed blessing?

I told him I would think it over the next couple of days.

Now I just need a sign...

life experience

Spent 3 hours trying to fix my internet connection. Am up and running. Good thing I don't need a lot of sleep, or as my contract manager noted after seeing my emails 5 hours apart that I must have good coffee.

Lost time towards deadline. Debating whether to cancel dinner plans.

At least my stunt as acting IT Manager 2 years ago prepared me for this.

Entrepreneurship is good for training this can-do attitude, but am I going to make it doing this or do I always need a paycheck?

come this way

I feel lucky to be busy with work right now. I never thought I would be career-oriented, but this is the place I am at right now. I must follow the tides and ride above the turbulence.

Right now, kindred spirit is more important than ever. I am grateful for all the people who are reaching out to me.

It is as if someone is watching out for me, so everyday, a little miracle happens to remind me of my fortune.

So the focus is on performing my current contract well and figuring out what's next.

Gratitude triumphs.

femininity

As I enter the most uncertain period of my life, I feel a sense of calm. This feeling of not knowing exactly what is going to happen suits me! I feel as if I am suppose to abandon the mainstream Western culture of certainty I have known most of my life.

Looking back, I had not expected most of the ups and downs in my life, so why start to second guess what I am suppose to be exactly?

Rather, I shall rely on my intuition to go toward people and places that give me a sense of well being.

Rather than panic with the onset of the uncertainty, I shall rely on the sure things: taking care of my body, mind and spirit and being there for people I care about. That's it.

Happiness comes from a simple life. Well, that and lots of pleasant surprises. Oh...the joy of surprises!

uncertainty

Why is it that our culture instill in us the need to figure things out?

In talking to a couple of girlfriends who hear their biological clocks ticking, it occurred to me that our culture is making people unhappy by giving them a very narrow view of what is possible.

Perhaps our generation will be the first one where not every woman is a mother by 35. Some of my closest girlfriends are women past childbearing age who didn't have children. Their extra energy has been channeled into fulfilling lives, including enriching mine.

What about changing our viewpoint and embracing uncertainty in order to find happiness?

Does figuring things out and having certainty the answer? If we are truly ourselves all the time, then we can find peace at any given point, in any situation.

joy

One of the tough things about self-employment is the isolation. As a people person, it is odd to spend so much time on my own.

Still, this time on my own is healthy. I am more aware of the happiness that is a constant in my life.

Similar to many in my family, giving to others bring me the most joy, but I am learning to find the peace in stillness.

Now that I understand that everything is meant to be, there is a certain security and calmness to life.

The uncertainty of the near future is something I have accepted completely. Waiting for life to unfold is a quiet type of happiness; there is an exciting in anticipating all the good things ahead.

keeping it to myself

My friend writes about her dating life, and it's been a lot of ups and downs.

Makes me wonder if our tendency to examine everything is ruining romance.

Now that I am focused more on my business, I don't talk to anyone much about what's NOT going on in my dating life.

It's liberating because that's the one area of my life that is completely free. Well, maybe it has something to do with the current characters. Still, I am completely happy with my personal life!

That's why this new professional exploration is so different. I am completely free to go where I need to go, regardless of what's going on in my dating life. Although I didn't believe the spiritual advisers that life will be more career-oriented for a while, I am going down that path.

It's one thing to say that I am following my gut, it's much more liberating to actually do so.