My mother grew up very comfortably and was surrounded by people who always said yes to her. Besides hired help and freeloaders, even my grandparents seldom disciplined her because they were too busy and enjoyed spoiling her.
My siblings and I spent much of our lives scrambling to cater to her changing whims. Perhaps we have to thank her for helping us to be so capable!
This weekend is more mother drama. She is upset that all three of us have other relatives staying with us. She feels neglected and is venting by refusing to be picked up from the airport by yours truly as planned weeks ago.
It will be fine. Drama dissolves when one of the parties refuse to escalate the situation. I have learned to sidestep landmines and take care of the situation.
Still, I finally understand why I was never interested in dating guys who are financially accomplished - I had a fear of raising spoiled kids!
Humility is such an important trait, but how does one instill that in an environment of material abundance? Now that I have it all figured out, who knew the answer could be so simple?
I have to continue to improve to impart all that is noble.
Saturday, April 11, 2009
Friday, April 10, 2009
twins
My cousin J was the first person whom I can say is a mirror image of me. We are so alike that sometimes I cannot stand him.
Tonight, I met another twin.
It was eerie to have someone describe themselves as if I was talking. Every detail, down to the way this person was raised, to passion for cars, to having separate groups of friends to attitude about money.
This mirror of a person will certain help me grow.
On another note. Thought I was getting a couple of weeks off. Instead, second contract is in full swing. No more Tahoe trips or long lunches for the next two weeks. Time to ramp up!!
Tonight, I met another twin.
It was eerie to have someone describe themselves as if I was talking. Every detail, down to the way this person was raised, to passion for cars, to having separate groups of friends to attitude about money.
This mirror of a person will certain help me grow.
On another note. Thought I was getting a couple of weeks off. Instead, second contract is in full swing. No more Tahoe trips or long lunches for the next two weeks. Time to ramp up!!
Wednesday, April 8, 2009
time, money and energy
The last round of sparring with my former manager made me see the balance of resources.
I have always had more time than everyone else because I have not focused on money as much. Instead, money is the mere tool to focus on my numerous outlets. By manipulating my energy and carefully manage inefficiencies, money is always enough and time is the bonus.
The interplay between resources is more important than ever. Rather than just try to make more money, I continue to change my priorities and following my passions.
Even people. Who I am focusing my energy on may not make sense on first glance, and some of it is chance. People with good souls are worth every minute because they give me the energy to get through it all.
So, new contract, new beginning, and I cannot wait!!
I have always had more time than everyone else because I have not focused on money as much. Instead, money is the mere tool to focus on my numerous outlets. By manipulating my energy and carefully manage inefficiencies, money is always enough and time is the bonus.
The interplay between resources is more important than ever. Rather than just try to make more money, I continue to change my priorities and following my passions.
Even people. Who I am focusing my energy on may not make sense on first glance, and some of it is chance. People with good souls are worth every minute because they give me the energy to get through it all.
So, new contract, new beginning, and I cannot wait!!
Monday, April 6, 2009
turbulence
Learned how to stand up paddle today.
It was so fun. Good metaphor for life. When there is turbulence, just keep steady and embrace the waves. Sure, I fell off a few times, but it was easy to get back on. Yet another reminder that don't ever let fear or negativity get in the way of the journey.
On another note, had some major turbulence for the first contract today. Revealing as to the character of the parties involved. Second contract is about to start, so I can only focus and move on.
This is the year that I transition from me the individual to me the businessperson.
It was so fun. Good metaphor for life. When there is turbulence, just keep steady and embrace the waves. Sure, I fell off a few times, but it was easy to get back on. Yet another reminder that don't ever let fear or negativity get in the way of the journey.
On another note, had some major turbulence for the first contract today. Revealing as to the character of the parties involved. Second contract is about to start, so I can only focus and move on.
This is the year that I transition from me the individual to me the businessperson.
Sunday, April 5, 2009
destiny
Part of going with the flow means that I accept fate's nudges. I don't question why people choose to come and go, and I don't doubt my intuition. I may not always understand the turn of events, but a deeper appreciation of what is meant to be gives me calm in times of uncertainty.
I have taken so many risks in personal and professional arenas that I am just as surprised as the next person that I am not jaded. Still, my increasing connectivity to the higher source allows me to withstand bigger challenges. All those baby steps of defiance and determination has led to giant leaps of play and exploration.
Looking back, I cannot say that I intended to be self-employed or single at this point, but I welcome this moment in time. The beauty of life is in its uniqueness and not its ability to conform. I still don't know what will happen next, and I will not limit myself by expecting or judging.
This way of living in the moment may be unconventional, but I no longer know how to fit neatly into a straight line or a pretty little box. Yes, the way I am has eliminated a lot of job possibilities and romantic interests, but my intuition guides me not to a destination but a journey.
So, as I continue on this very windy road, I shall sit back, relax and enjoy the ride!
I have taken so many risks in personal and professional arenas that I am just as surprised as the next person that I am not jaded. Still, my increasing connectivity to the higher source allows me to withstand bigger challenges. All those baby steps of defiance and determination has led to giant leaps of play and exploration.
Looking back, I cannot say that I intended to be self-employed or single at this point, but I welcome this moment in time. The beauty of life is in its uniqueness and not its ability to conform. I still don't know what will happen next, and I will not limit myself by expecting or judging.
This way of living in the moment may be unconventional, but I no longer know how to fit neatly into a straight line or a pretty little box. Yes, the way I am has eliminated a lot of job possibilities and romantic interests, but my intuition guides me not to a destination but a journey.
So, as I continue on this very windy road, I shall sit back, relax and enjoy the ride!
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